I have nine basic ground rules for this blog:
1. Do not, under any circumstances, acknowledge that this is a blog, for the sake of both professionalism and for the respect of the greater writing community, whatever that is.
2. Name dropping is strictly prohibited, unless it is an actor or pop culture icon that I do not know personally and he/she/it is used humorously as an adjectival describer that only I will understand (e.g. “Edward-James-Olmos acne.)
2a. Location should remain a relative mystery, for the sake of future employment, as well as academic standing within the university. Not that anyone cares.
2b. It goes without saying that people should only be referenced casually and underhandedly, unless they are family or carrying my child. For the context of this year, it will probably only be the former.
3. I understand that the number of science-fiction-related-pop-culture references that I can cram into a single post is inversely proportional to the number of people who can understand and enjoy said post and I accept full responsibility for this.
4. It is perfectly understandable for the author (me) to substitute a previously-written poem for a daily post, as long as it has a hastily written introduction to accompany it.
5. Cursing is considered acceptable, as long as it’s not too frequent and is necessary for the flow of the post. Excessive uses of said “four letter words” will be considered both unprofessional and “not cool.”
5a. Inappropriate jokes and references are not allowed as quick paths to laughter. I do too much of that in the real world.
6. Clumpingwordstogether in order to create new, complex “wordclumps”, as they shall be hereafter referred to, will be considered both artsy and important to the development of the three-hundred-sixty-five-day plot.
7. In the same vein (but not “same vein enough” to entail an 8a or even a 3ai), in order to disguise my location or to draw attention to a certain point, it is encouraged to WRITEINALLCAPSANDBUNCHTOGETHER for a certain thing (e.g. BIGCOLLEGETOWN.)
8. The labels at the end of each post should not refer to anything Google-able in the article.
9. Using this blog to “get girls” is perfectly acceptable because we all know, deep down, that girls really like nerdy, intellectual writers who may or may not have a Darth Vader action figure on their desk at this very moment.
