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“Act your age, not your shoe size.”

-Horrible colloquial advice for people that have relatively big feet like me

            Brandon Wainerdi’s One-Hundreth Irrefutable Law of Life and Love in General: Maturity has different forms in many different situations, some less mature than others, but all equally overrated.

                                                                       

·      Addendum 100.1: Walking around a Science Fiction convention is a surefire way to appear more mature than you actually are. Maturity may seem inevitable but the key to avoiding maturity is to never be in a situation where you are the most mature. The obese thirty-year-old man painted in all green dragging a stroller around with a baby in a Klingon costume has nothing on you.

·      Addendum 100.2: Continue to play with toys. Or, at least, buy toys in mint condition and never open them, storing them in your closet back home where they slowly collect dust in a sad state of semi-existence.

o   Addendum 100.2a: Internet shopping with the plastic card your parents gave you is a good way to get back at them for not getting the toys you wanted as a kid. Surprisingly, eBay is seemingly a treasure trove of late 90’s memorabilia.

·      Addendum 100.3: Do not be afraid to live out childhood fantasies, like piloting the Millennium Falcon as Harrison Ford with a Wookiee co-pilot. Feel free to substitute a mini-stuffed animal version of Chewbacca and your dad’s 2005 Toyota Avalon, going twenty-over at 1:30 in the morning for the desired results.

·      Addendum 100.4: Girls are still hard to figure out. That never changes.

           

            I am eighteen-years-and-one-hundred-days old today. And I bought myself a signed Back to the Future poster to celebrate.