xxiv

“Please allow me to introduce myself: I’m a man…”

-Jagger/Richards

As a brisk change of pace, I’m going to vent a little. I have several pet peeves. For future reference said pet peeves are:

1) When I want to eat some chips while watching an awful show on MTV and there is no dip. I can’t eat that.

2) My dog, the ultimate pet peeve.

3) When people make fun of my television habits. I happen to like science fiction shows that girls think are weird.

4) Environmentalists. Not a fan.

5) When people respond to my texts with one word. You know who you are.

            …and the newest one, the worst one:

6) When people appear disappointed about my college selection. Shut the fuck up.

I’m sorry. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to curse a lot less, especially in public areas. But this is a case where my cleaned-up, made-up wordclumps will not suffice. But Pet Peeve #6 been happening a lot lately with the most random assortment of third-string-connections, like a sitcom of errors.

For instance, I was at my little brother’s basketball game this morning and, while leaving, one of his friends cheekily asked me where I was going to college. “Oh, I’m going to the University in BIGCOLLEGETOWN,” I said, with a mandatory thumbs-up. 

“Oh. Well…” He looked awfully disappointed in me. And it’s becoming an awfully common occurrence:

First, “Why aren’t you going to Davidson/William and Mary/Wake Forest/Trinity?” And then, “Why are you going there?”

About a 365-day lifetime ago, I applied to thirteen different colleges, colleges on rolling campuses on the east coast, esteemed ivory-laden, bricked liberal arts colleges, small student body’s of Polos and J. Crews. And I got into all of them (well, except Rice. But they suck.)

And now, a year later, I’m not going to twelve of them, the twelve most-esteemed, the twelve most-out-of-state, most-faux-philosophic, and most-frat-tastic. I am going to my parent’s alma-mater, the university with the thirty-thousand students, the t-shirts and the pajama pants, the teacher’s aides and the strongest of all possibilities of that I will be lost in the crowd.

So why am I going there?

I’m going there because I will not have to pay anything, because I will be able to save up for law school/a life-size Darth Vader replica, for the eventual well-being of the family that I consistently assume that I am going to have. I’m going there because, I realized, school spirit is the most important thing to me in a college. I’m going there because I got into the Honors Program with the girls and the ties and the priority classes. I’m going there because, not that there is anything wrong with any of the other institutions, but this was the best fit for me, not the one that will look the best on my resumé by name alone.

Because, trust me, after four years, my resumé is going to kick some serious ass without a fancy name.

    And I really need to stop cursing.